How Genius I am. =)

*sigh* I haven't had enough of my dramatic Holidays. I'm sorry, I'm just so not ready for this thing call School re-opening. It's pathetic for pissing shake.

New Year's count down is like in a few hours of time. I will miss my Random 17. I once told myself that my sweet 16 is somehow the best of all. Yet on my year 17, I realize that it was even better. I told myself that I will make Perfect 18 even better than ever. I'm crossing my fingers on this one. "one year's better than one year", that's the motto.

Nicole Marie Jaden, is leaving for Australia with her sister. I'll miss her. =) Safe and happy trip sis! =D love you to bits.

2010, here I am. I know I am a great individual. Here I am, I'm happy for who I am.

peace and love,
Roxy.

Its Gonna Make Sense MLTR

I heard this song on my plane to and back from Manila. I think the lyrics is brilliant. If you're going through tough times, this one is especially dedicated to you, yes you. =)

Life comes in many shapes
You think you know what you got
Untill it changes

And life will take you high and low
You gotta learn how to walk
And then which way to go

Every choice you make
When you're lost
Every step you take
Has it's cause


After you clear your eyes
You'll see the light
Somewhere in the darkness
After the rain has gone
You'll feel the sun comes
And though it seems your sorrow never ends
Someday it's gonna make sense

Tears you she'd are all the same
When you laughed 'till you cried
Or broken down in pain

All the hours you have spent in the past
Worrying about
A thing that didn't last

Everything you saw
Played a part
In everything you are
In your heart

Someday you're gonna find the answers
To all the things you've become and all they've done
At your expence
Someday it's gonna make sense

Burry the long stories.

Not going to make things told over and over again
I have never knew that people could get this cold and heartless
Guess this is differences

I'm choosing a different path
Don't know what's yours
Don't want to care anymore

Couldn't believe I could get so tied up by you
Your foolishness and your lies are all you had
I don't know who you are as an individual

I am moving on
No longer looking back
It's not worth it

I take a deep breathe
I am taking the first step to my new life
A life like never before.

This is me
I don't know what is next
All I know is I am strong enough to go through everyday.

Smiley Tracey. =)

They told me their thoughts
They had frightened me in a way
I know I have to go through it
though it wasn't easy

It was a long time
since I realized that they are really nice people
I wasn't ego
I wasn't a coward
I was just not prepared

tears rolled down
They told me not to cry
I didn't mean to be weak
yet i wasn't perfect

please allow me to be normal
please allow me to cry
I am not superwoman all the way
I still cry just like everybody else

I am fine
I am still me
This is me
The imperfect me
yet I am beautiful in my own way

I'm fine
after the tears and the talk
I stood up just like all the time
just needed a break

It's okay to fall
I'm still growing up
This process isn't easy
but I'm looking at things in my way
The optimistic way

Thank you.

my computer!!!for pissing shake!

i hated it, its been so damn long since i can go online, like what the heck? blame it on the com==. what a day. Retarded. dang! a lot of things have been happening these days. I kinda missed the old days though. =( *sigh*

to my sister. =)

=) I will start the post with a smile. It has really been a long time since we pour our hearts to each other like before. We are both struggling and learning in our own lives, without each others supports. I'm sorry too, for not being there when you needed me. our lives have never been an easy one, it was always full of these and those. We thought about giving up, yet we made holding on our only belief, and I'm glad that both you and I had hold on on our most difficult moments, or else we shall never ever have experienced all of these, I had never regret meeting those failures and learn it with them, and I know you didn't too. =)
"A friend, is always there when you need them.
A sister, may not always appear, yet you know she always have you back up."
you have always been a great friend and sister for Traceline. I know you are always there. I will always be there for you too. That is what sisters do. Give me your words, that you won't give up to failures, I had also been a foolish girl too, who think that failures are the biggest fear in life. Yet i finally realize that not facing your problems and finding an escape is the biggest fear. Let us hold hands, wipe out each others tears and tell each other, "it's okay, everything will be fine". Everything will be over, those tired and tiring life routine, will be over, hang on! =) You have changed too, you know what you wanted, you run to it. Jason, I'm glad you love this dude, and I'm happy that you had chosen someone who you really wanted to love. " sisters are meant for foreva' " love you.

"God, I felt i have really been over tiring myself, I have always been exaggerating my small problems. I know God has always been there, yet I took him for too granted. My Mighty God, I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. I want to walk under your feet, I want you to lead me like a little kid."
Nicole is right, we can't live without You.You are a part of us. I will change. Yes I will. =)
I will make my goodnight prayers a better one. =)

in school, we are educated to be afraid of failures,
we are educated about never fail in life,
we are educated about being number one,
we are educated to be the hundred score scholar,
yet ended up being a chicken with no heads.

these days, i had been renewing myself,
i thought about life,
i feared stepping in that tunnel with no torch lights again,
i knew i don't fully belong,
yet i tried to squeeze in.
i had learned nothing but to be afraid.
i need and escape.
a happy one. =)

my escape, will be a different one,
i will meet failures and success,
and i will not regret any one of it,
i will leave and come back new again.

questions and answers.

no need to go through the comparing game
they are really awesome
they truly deserved it
thumbs up! =)

in this small town
everything had happened ordinary
simple routines
yet worthwhile ones

embraced the simpleness
embrace my future
it is worth giving a shot!

trust me, its worth it.

so my life is also a random puzzle afterall. it could be the best if i spend time figuring out the pieces. i had a great life, shouldn't stop hesitating about it. hang on, i will be fine! no big deal. =)

got tired of routines.

stretching and inhaling
wanted to go further
wanted to cut off that darn string
that had been pulling me no where
but backwards

Give me a way of life
I'm tired of always being the tough one
when it's empty inside
it doesn't always have to be this way
" Rioting for life "

wake up!

had been broken before
had been cheated before
what makes me think that this time
will be a different story told?

risky it is
slippery it is
tell me why do I always like to choose a different path?
why can't I choose to play safe?
dang!
wake up! it's reality.

what a journey =)

holidays it is, and finally! =)
its been a long long time, and i finally can RELAX!!!oh yea, going to Singapore tomorrow.
I had really achieve somethings these days, which really gave me a thinking that " i can go far, and i really CAN! ". I don't have the best, I don't have a lot, but I sure am happy with what I have. =) cheers to the holidays, most important, i wanna rock on! like always! Traceline you go girl.

aNTI-rETARD.

dang! what a ride these days, i seriously prefer last yer's Anni. =( I'm serious. Maybe when you change, people change, time past, things just keep on moving on a different path.
hmmm......dont be anything centered, they are fickle and changed. =)

*********************************************************************

I watch her surroundings change
I watch her friends move and change
nothing is forever
no one is there forever

I move on
It's my time again
to look at things in her shoe
I watch my surrounding change

weird and untrue
fickle but true

no matter what happens
I will stand up still
with no ones help again
I've learned to be a different human being

happy and happy =D

heartbreaks, how far could BFF go eventually?

take me away no longer wanna be in this mess
had been tolerating for too long
had been backing off for too long
had been pretending not to hear
had been pretending not to see
every heartbreaking scene

I'm not bullet proof
I'm sorry dear friend
but you had hurt me
for a long time
i had never say a word because i had cherish you
how about you?

Can't stand the gossipping
how could you? had the guts to do it in front of me?
you're the murder
yet it sounded like I'm the murder as i kept saying sorry
when it has been your fault all the way through

you're my BFF
yet my BFF won't hurt me
so who are you?

Best
Friend
Forever
no longer know how to believe in it.
I'm sorry,
you're not who i thought you were eventually.

demand.

=) What a long time since the last post. Choral speaking was over, I-challenge's preliminary round was over, so is the Final. We got the Third. =) 3ooo bucks for the school, 300 bucks each. scholarships. What was really the best part, was i had fun at Subang and Putra Nilai. the preliminary round was mostly with the "geeks" never knew they could be so funny and nice. Alvin was awesome, so is Hong Zen. =) the Finals was great! Teens from the North sure are different than us. They are also a pack of freaks! Haven't enjoy for such a long long time. I played hard and let go of all the stress! oh yea!

A new beginning for a new Me.!. =) will continue to accept whatever obstacles it is.

when too much is too much.

there is this moment when you think that you had did everything, and totally deserve to receive what you think that you should get. yet, sometimes there is this thing call "trying too hard". we had tried so many things in our lives, we had been through so much, we had did so many just to prove ourselves, why can't we just slow things down and start giving ourselves a break?

if life is all about wanting and thinking what you deserve, and what others should be giving you, guess what? life will be full of question marks. it will be hard to find the answer, you might use your whole life searching for the answer, yet in the end, you will be empty-handed.
it will be a waste, because in the end, you had lost yourself, besides, this journey will be alone and sad. you are actually punishing yourself.

life, is full of different choices. we choice who we want to be. we chose what type of person we want to become, we chose to be happy or sad. there is this saying that, "if being miserable makes you happy, then continue being miserable"! in the end, it is all about being happy with whoever who you are. life is too much for us. sometimes, we are adding the stress and burden. we created MORE pressure for ourselves. not worth it again.

we should live a life, which we accept whatever happens. Forgetting about the sad things that had happened yesterday, because there is always a tomorrow. =) life is about moving on. It's not about hesitating about what had happened. we smile and move on, in the end this whole journey is about being happy and unbeatable. =)

Am sharing this with all of you. =) we move on no matter what happens.
we are meant to be strong and unbeatable. =) trust me, it's worth it being happy! and guess what we always have the choice.

Forever.

it could be seen as a code full of question marks.
you think about who to trust,
you started to doubt your first sight,
started losing your innocence,
got lost in the middle of the cross road.

had lost everything
you're nude
no more weapons to protect yourself
how does it feels
standing at the middle of the crossroads with cars driving around?

got bump by one car then another
yet recklessly stood up
and got bump...again
scars and brushes all over you
yet never even thought about giving up

forever, does it really work in reality?
or is it just another lie we cheated ourselves?
no longer needed a forever
just needed to be in the present
just needed to have another day to go through all these
all over again.

forgetting what they had said
forgetting what they had doubted
I stood up still without any help
I'm here to accept all those bumps!
I'm sorry, I'm not giving up.

thank you. =)

You all have been very amazing. thanks you, i will be strong i promise.
thanks you all... ...
i love all of you from the bottom of my heart. =>
challenges seems tough, but because of all those supports and belief, i know i can go through it. thank you... ...

taking a few steps back, not untitiled anymore. (=

had done everything for you
almost gave up my everything

I'm glad i was given a second chance to see clearer
i saw your true colors

never thought that we were perfect
yet never knew how breakable this could all be

we thought that it will all last
how naive

sometimes when you take a few steps back
its not about being a coward
its when you know what is best for you

never regret taking a second risk
because i know I'm doing the right thing

*****************************************************




before,
i said hey,
and the conversation last a whole day.

after,
our eyes match,
you studied the floor,
i walk away.

I'm better off staying this way. =)
roxyrose. (R)

Happy Father's Day. (=

no matter what happens, i still love daddy. no matter what i still need daddy. I'm sorry for not understanding your situation. (= I LOVE YOU AND HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. u are my daddy.

I just came back from Nilai. It's where we participated in the I care for the Environment challenge. i had a great great time there. thank you everybody. the road trip last for about 6 hours, well basically it's 12 hours. go and back.

Lost the passion. I will find it back! Not letting anything fade it. This is me, I need to find my passion back. The passion which creates a flame in me. The passion which gave me strength to move on. I WILL FIND IT BACK!

roxy rose signing off. (=

June.

i think mom's kinda pissed about me, for turning the volume a little bit higher on her. i didnt mean to sound frustrated n all, its just i dont know wat was i thinking. i think i just took everything too granted. =/ sorry mom, sorry for being mean, and sorry tat i wont say it 2 u personally, i just dont have the guts. =/

went to Desaru during the holidays for dads birthdae celebration with grandpa n ma. it was awesome. =)

stayed at GP ( shortform of grandparents home) haha. it was great there. a couple of friends have sleepova there too. they went for mountain hiking and I CANT GO!!!!!=l
was so freaking addicted to a korean drama?! like, how did i mange tat? weird weird n so weird. =/ use to think tat these shows are stupid. hahaha... ...just needed to accept the fact tat ppl change all the time. random suits US most, yea all of us.

am heading for KL tomoro. hmmm...plan to do my Math tomoro morning b4 leaving. =)
happy trip Roxy Rose.!.

okay, DJ's at UK, freaking lucky dude. =) have fun.

happy holidays everyboday.!.

RR.

Kris and Adam.

I used to be a Adam Lambert fan. Kris somehow just didnt even have a space in my sight. then...but there's a But, Kris really isnt tat bad, really not. to me, hes just a version of a good singer, a safe one, an all time favorite kinda singer. yet Adam is a unique, different, a "i have a different point of view in music" kinda guy. lets not talk about who's straight and who's gay here, its totally a personal opinion and a after "talent show comment" post.

people somehow get obssesed about WHO should win? Adam or Kris?or who DESERVES to win? i admit i was obssesed about tat too. the fact is, they both are different, we cant somehow find a balance to predict who DESERVES the title or something. its not really fair to both of them. they are both different, though this a competition, but both of them should be treated as EQUAL, not who SHOULD win. its kinda crap if u ask me.

Kris and Adam n most people got shocked about the result. i was too. the fact is, everything happens for a reason. this winning and losing thing, is just a process, or lets say the beginning.

RR.

Saturday, !

Finally!
My test are ova! =)
now, im going to be busy with my second semester day planer, and my Daddy's b'dae.
wondering how to surprise him. hmmmm... just had a little discussion with mama 'bout it.
'=p choral speaking will be a busy thing 4 the whole gang. we are going to do our best, just wait n see. / =)

just went back from my new apartment, well basically its just upstairs hahaha. i think its lovely. =) Danddy brief me about how our home seet home will turn out into. hmmm...wat can i say? I JUST CANT WAIT!!!!!!luv it, really luv it. Daddy really put millions of effort in it. n i just cant wait to deacorate my lovely bedroom n the entire home. =)...

i luv my family. my daddy is a busy guy, he doesnt really have a lot of time 4 us. all i know is, he luvs us more then anything.

i luv you daddy. We have our ups n downs, tat all happened becoz we arent perfect. who cares about being perfect? we just care about how to love wat we have. I luv u.

RoxyRose...

Am still Ruling the blog. =)

its been sometimes since my last blog update. gee... ...stuck with all those muggings, which are really giving me some crappy mood somehow.
i found this band in MySpace A THOUSAND CITY LIGHTS, uhuh, they are a screamo kinda band, but i think they r kinda cool. Though i dont really appreciate thier music like how i hearted THERE FOR TOMORROW. =)

this muffin im eating right now, is just so yummy! =) haha my helper sure is my hero.

tats it, a crap blog post. ! .
get back to it after the effing Mid test yea?

**(I dont hold Revenge, I hold Smiles)**
chesse to the camera!

Roxy. ^[oo]^

Misery to Cheerful. =)

Got a huge lecture for my "real boss" or should i say the "general manager"? though its just a few minutes, but the pressure just seems like the whole thing will last forever.
Dang! it was really a long and misery a while ago. Stressful and everything, tears almost rolled down.
got home, everything just still looked misery and wrong, banged with there for tomorrow's music, am still banging with it though. =D I HEART THEM.
then, capable dude called. dang! it was really a thing. That 8 minutes and more random chat with the hostel boys, really changed my day, from misery to cheerful. THANK YOU, it means a lot to me.

May.

So May came afterall. When i thought i couldn't survive, i lived and laugh like usual. Sometimes i just complicated a lot a lot of things in life. i never wanna go back to be the pessimist sweetheart, not anymore. =) im better off this way.

Not that addicted to bloggings like before, maybe its because my life topic had changed.


If im still that Naive Little Girl
my heart will fall to pieces like all the time
too bad
its not absorbing all those temperatures
to freeze and break




when you were there to break my heart
make my tears drop like unstop raindrops
i was there to forgive you
all the time
until then my tears made me see clearer
all those were lies

when i was standing there
telling the world
how perfect you were
how much i needed you
u were there
holding her hands
looking through her eyes
and telling her how much you love her

when i thought u were my world
you told the world what a joke i was

i cried nights and days
those tears seems invisible
as no one saw them
yet those tears
were the tools that made me see clearer with my bear eyes

cant believe you just let go easily
cant believe you pretended like nothing had happened
and you told me you were not a player

you made up white lies
to convice everyone
you are the victim
and im the murder

Guessing there you are
spliting out all my secrets
guess wat?
you havent spill out the real secret
and its my secret for geting over you

i dont hold revenge
i hold smiles

say cheesseeeeeee to the camera! you jerk!
=p

its 22nd ready.=>

its so weird tat i felt a sence of sadness this time. i admit, i didnt felt well. i wish i had the guts to pour everything out to him. i just needed an explanation. yea, just an explanation. he doesnt need to apologized, coz tat will only make me feel guilty inside... ...

its all so weird
when u got through everything
u wonder to urself how u made it?

those tears tat u shed
those self-hurtings tat made u paralize
somehow just fade away
u had 4got those pain
u had 4got those hardships
and transform to a better n stronger person
its weird somehow
but this is how the story end
and this is how the story will begin in another way... ...

Facing THE END with a smile

any idea? im 17 already! had my birthday celebrated on April 13. i so hearted tat day, though its Math unified test? hmmm....i did my best, dont give a fuck about the results. booo!!tats me, i work my best, give my best shot and accept the outcome with a open heart. =D A BIG THANK YOU to those who are my UNSUNG HEROES now and always......<<33333333

***************************************************

remembering those days
how he had been part of her untold story
how she had been a headless chicken because of him
how naive she had become
how she had hurt herself so deep tat she got paralized by pain

Time seems to heel everything
yet time tends to fade away everything

He used to be there
to tell her white lies
tat gave her butterflies
dat made her 4got the real her

As the sun rises n sets everyday
her feelings 4 him has faded away
her heart broke and she mended it
all alone
she never blame him
yet she blame herself 4 being Naive

Used to think tat standing under raindrops
is the biggest fear
Guess wat?
now im willing to stand under the unstop raindrops
and start my dancing moves =D

when time took me in another stage
i just realize the people who i really needed
i just realize how strong i really am
i just realize i had grown up

i wanted to squeeze out tat little sence of pain
i wanted to squeeze out tat little sence of hatress
but guess wat? nothing was all i found
i dont feel for u anymore
even though ur hurting me
but i dont feel pain
i just felt calm and strong
deep inside
im laughing at u
yes, u THE SILLY CLOWN


i guess its your time
to take a few steps back
to understand who you really are
deep inside

i luv NICOLE, ZOEY, ELS, ADD JADE, HUI TONG, MONKEY, WEN FEI, SYILING, ANNA, AI LING, SACRED HEART CHURCH, THE CHOO N ARWUIZA FAMILY, BOLEVARD 92... ...
guess wat? they are who i really need. BACK OFF, LOSER! FIND UR OWN FUCKING ASSHOLIC DARN LIFE!
=D

RoxyRose is UNBEATABLE. ^[oo]^

April. ^[oo]^

Wat a long time since i last posted, i mean i usually write blogs like every day. well atleast every 2, 3 days. hmmm.....its not like i dont wanna post, but when i start typing, i just end up deleating it, so yea. =[oo]=

first first CONGRATULATIONS to TRACELINE for scoring A++in "romance of the three kingdom". UR AWESOME SWEETY!!!!!!

Just a while ago, things were going preety wild. n tat is all i rmb. but the fact is, i dont really tend to remember wat exactly made me go down....hmmm....i tend 2 4get bout things. n i think its also a benefit atleast the bad things get to slipped off my mind easily, =D

i watch RnJuliet, bucket list, Snow White, all in one time, guess wat happened? *sigh* i didnt really totally got the story. but i think The buscket list is a MUST WATCH. i will watch it, and i say I WILL. im gonna introduce this darn show to my classmates.

goin' 2 Sunway College on Sat. this, this also has a story behind. lets leave it then.
Sunway here we come!!!!!!!!MAKE SURE ALL UR EYES ARE WILD OPEN WHEN U SEE WAT 'RETARDS YET BRILLIANT' REALLY ARE. =D


ROXYROSE@theEarth

im happy now n always! =)
never give up!
i say i wont. n i wont.

ha. Sometimes, i juz wonder how funny we ppl R."]o["

its a friday again... ...spent my afternoon on the auditorium trilingual. i luv ELS. speeches are the dullest thing for me, but guess wat? if u spend time listenning to them, i thinksome topics r preety nice afterall. N i gotta see my sista' Roxanne Rose. luv ya! Nic. shuld be in KL redi, i really miss her. GudLuck! =] one thing, i miss Anna. lll wonder how is she, the last time we chat, she sounded kinda down, i hope she will b okey again. i luv u An. ;)

hmm.......
dang! i think she hate me, dose eyes, dose smirks... ... but guess wat? i DONT FUCKIN' CARE! =D Hate me all u wanna, u will juz realize how stupid u are 4 hating ppl. i dont need u in my rockable life afterall. ur so bitchy, how dare u say tat about my frand? so flirty. ur an ass tats all, no expectations on u. gee... ...how did u manage to be so mean? lmao, my biggest wuestion 4 u, guess u cant answer it too. BOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!i wont hate u, "coz im mature enuf 2 understand some ppl r just so immature to except the fact tat ppl r different, n u need 2 respect everybody. ur not tat person afterall, who r u to hate or to judge them?"

Saturday... ...will be 2moro, a new day again.
God Bless n Peace Up,

p/s wanna know a secret how to rock a life? Juz rock it the way u wanna, stay happy now n always, troubles, missery stuffs shuuldnt pull u down. =)

wat happened?

I admit my mistakes, i really do. please forgive me. i swear its circling me, it really is. let me go. please, just set me free. im tensed up, really i am. i know im wrong but please give me some times to sort things out.

im not myself. i really am not. let me go... ...

people make mistakes, and we learn from it. i need some time, enough time to make me feel better//// ////

Razor.

gee....im being 4gotful!

The Maine. i found this darn band in MySpace,! and i say THEY ARE SO AWESOME!!!!!!!i heart them really!!!!!!!!!!!!though their lyrics are one of those so called boybands lyrics, dont get wat i mean? check out their lyrics man, this type of lyrics i grouped them in the "boybands" lyrcs.! Peace.......

Hurt///
if she sayS it doesnt
shes saying the biggest lie

Tears...
the only thing tat accompanied her through the unknown nite
it wont seem to dry up

Herself222
being her own best friend
d only one tat know wats going on

Smile'''
it will be back just needed more time
iTs wat she needed

MOVE ON^^^
is wat she needs to learn
her challenge

Naive.

So there he was

doing everything just to make her feel tat shes not the only one
guess wat? he has always been part of her
she never blame him for being naive
she just blame herself in believing in miracle

she tried to stand strong
she tried to pick herself up
she tried not to cry
but the tears is the only thing tat drop

she laughs hard
she screams hard
she squized the smile hard
is becos she wanna cover the naive her
she doesnt want to explain anything

she offs the light
sitting in the corner sobbing alone
tell me who is there for her?
only the broken her n the torn up her



leave me alone
i wanna leave this place
give me an eraser to erased the sad ones

tomoro
tomoron it will change
i tell myself

i will be strong again
just needed to let things out

1st post of March.

I promised a lot of stuffs to many ppl, n some how i dont seem to keep my promise. i know im wrong. i put in in my to do list in my cell redi, give me sometime to fulfill my promise yea?

its the first post afterall, the last to month was kinda wild for me. things pop up all at a same time, but i kinda enjoyed those pop ups, just made my life more worthwhile...cant wait 4 the interflow by the way. lmao.

i told myself i wanna have a life in Myspace, but some how it wont work out. im kinda stuck in there, dont really know how it functions, hahahaha.

awww.....

i dont "hangout" in chatspaces not anymore, well atleast for now. coz i kinda got bored over those fake identities, those fake truths, gee....n i dont need those invisible frands to fill up my emptiness, yup, i dont need them afterall. but Anna is a MUST HAVE! lmao. heart anna! ><

one more thing, i luv reading Taylor Alison Swift's Myspace profile, i think it totally make sence n it juz make me luv her n made me look her up as a role model. u guys should really check out also. im just one of those Ms. Swift's fan! <33333333><

see those videos on the top of the blog posts? i just luv them like to bits!!!!!!!<333333
guess where i got them 4rom? Myspace, lmao yea i kinda like scrolling through myspace afterall. <333

im getting over some facts, like my crappy tests results, gee...i screwed up again.
n one thing is....

Nic, shes meant to be strong, she cant give up juz like tat.

so do I, myself.....i need to be strong, yes i have too. i need to move on even knowing tat its not easy...

i wanna erased those memories
n make it come back when im redi to accept it
i admit its never easy to live a life
without ur callings
juz needed another voice to replace u
juz like how u replaced me with another one

shouldnt have gone this far
shouldnt have go beyond the border
maybe wat i go thrugh will make sence in the future
but it doesnt now
i juz need one juz one goodnite

we r all just special.

todays chinese test was kinda crappy, but i thought I did my best on answering it. =]
so they bad mouthed, made me joined in too. i didnt mean it, its totally a no offence thing, gee...i sounded kinda mean. im really sorry okey, yea well yea, everyone is special so is those Bitches? yea i guess tat is how the story goes... ...

********************************************

the break up... ...i will not side any1 of them, coz everyone is just different afterall, im not them, so yea. one party, who made us look like crappers. dang! how could u? after wat we have given u? the time, the love, and everything this is how u treat us? just walk away randomly? yea i know, u can choice but, can we be treated in a more unite way? can we be more WHOLE? more 2gether, i guess, its the word, yea MORE 2GETHER. im just voicing my opinion tats all. ;/


so i say, we all fall apart, we all live in miserable as we grow. its how we deal with it tat made the whole process different. i ust needed a good sleep, tats all. hated the muggings. *sigh* im looking at the brightside. mugging = self improve. lmao.

the quotes in Photobucket.

i luv the quotes in Photobuckets, they always just make sence to me n make my day go brighter, made me smile on my dull day, my challenges. ^^ yea i know its cool, u guys should check it out also. i just heart the quotes online, whenever im feeling my bad, i will scroll through the quotes in Photobucket. try it one day too. ^^

i dont need a title.

never know wat word to put in the missing sentences
just got paralysed by lies
dont know the truth not anymore
never blame anyone
coz we were both young afterall
we just needed someone by our side
too bad im not the one
the saddest thing is ur not the one too

every songs just seems to picture you in it
every bit just have you in it
just wondering where i stand in your space?
you messed up my feelings
left me alone picking up every bits
im not whole again
at least not now

guess wat?
im not giving up
i still believe in miracle
but ur no longer the miracle
ur no longer the untold fairytale

cant get used to it.

i have to admit
its not easy to go through it
coz im already addict
i need to get used to it

i really dont feel right
i tried to hide those tears
u just hurt me from the inside all the time
i guess you will say the same thing too

u made up everything
to make my jealousy grew stronger
u got me
u really did

u told me u got over her
i thought im her replacement
i was wrong
i never will beat tat girl, can i?

why does everyone wants u so much?
why does everyone luv u so much?
when all u care about is how to dump all of them?
i said ur a player u never admit

it hurts it really does
sorry just thought u were the one
i dont know how to be friends
not anymore.

she luvs being with him,
no matter wat,
she is always cool for him,
no matter wat he still likes her.
she doesnt need to act in front of him
she never needed to fake in front of him
i hearted it when the story continues.

sorry didnt mean to hang down

tell me its normal.

these ppl they are just like rich ppl selling stuffs all over the place, the phone keeps on ring, the msg tone just wont stop ringing... ...today is kinda quiet, as in for me, the fucking phone rang but none are my call, the msg ringtone dont seem to ring. but its okey, i have myself n god tats all i need now. '0
*************************************************************

i dont know why i feel happy, i really dont know. the fucking test is coming, how did i manged to put a smile on my face? i really dont know, i have changed. hmmm.....i thought its sth good. positive mind thinker.

so i bought SUM41's Underclass Hero, i kinda like it. lmao, im really a rock music freak!.

and one thing, i luv my blog template, its so Random. lmfao. and its so me and my life=Random.

ELS 's Welcome Party will be tomoro, i can't wait. !!!!!!! its a new beginning again. We all just need to Blast off!!!!!!!!!!
Rock On ppl, i say i dont really wanna see tat dude tomoro, not BK but the younger one, i really just dont. can they find a replacement for him?

Roxy Rose Rox.

it was quite sometimes from my last update, though its just 5 days? maybe 6 days? ha, but for me its preety long redi.

hmmmm... ...skool just started for like a week, the homeworks, the emotions, the relationships are getting more n more. but i still can take it ((:D

today's forum was preety awesome, wen the dude peeped on teacher's note n made up the number 7, 6, 7, 6 with his fingers, i was so freaking proud. i mean the script was kinda short, and i was so totally NERVOUS, i tried not to freak on the outside, but deep inside, i was shivering!!!((:o

tomoro will be the very first lesson with our new members and our old members, just cant wait. i have to say speaking infront of public may seem like a fearing thing, but i kinda like it! lmao.
i luv the challenge, the challenge to challenge myself! ((:D

recalling about my chinese essay which was given a little credit, really makes me smile, gee....so i can write chinese afterall. lmao. maybe its becoz of the title. the teacher let us make up our own title, but it has to be about ourselves, the purpose is to let the teacher know more about us, the special us. ((:D
my tittle was " I WROTE DOWN MY RESPONSIBILITY BRAVELY ". but the teacher somehow think tat MY RESPONSIBILITY was a far better titile for my essay, tats y she dashed out some words in my essay title, leaving the words MY RESPONSIBILITY only. hmmm....**speachless**

the class is having a gathering, gee.... it was announced tat only 9/51 ppl can totally go on tat day. ((:/ my gang ain't goin also, i mean they arent goin, but im not sure about me, hmmm///dont know wat will happen to me without my gangs. i dont feel like going redi. =/

i got a quote "learn to like your duties in life, then u wont mind doing it over n over again". i kinda like it. ((:D

*****************************************************************

its preety cool when u admitted ur feelings to me, i hearted it.
though im not sure how far can i trust you.

u treated me different,
not like b4,
i guess ur shyness is a proof.
the evidence.

u dont treat me like the rest
mayb its becos im different among them
i have a space in ur dang heart afterall. ((*D

My o9 C.N.Y. =}

y'day was preety fun, went for a party, hmm....the food was okey, the fun was 80 percent awesome.

besides the part when someone, dont wanna mention who, not even intend to anyway, the part when she sorta tried to say tat im a prep.

Fuck, tat will be the last word i wanna hear, PREP! oh gosh!

just becoz we live in a hilltop? like asshole, yea i know the house is kinda big, but so?! like hello, its meant for 17 ppl to live in.
i mean please, i fake a smile pretend like its nothin, but i say "DONT EVA EVA SAY IT AGAIN! i hated it when ppl say tat we r rich, Fuck! If we really are tat rich, y am i still here? shouldnt we b in another so called richer country? AND Y am i always struggling to buy just a blouse in a retail shop? n those so called"not so rich"ppl gets away easily with clothes in branded shops? " im not complaining, im just voicing my own opinion.

and please, there is much more richer and preper ppl out there waiting for you little creatures to talk about, so just drop the topic about us, CARE YOUR OWN BUTT!

geee.....i do feel better, about tat little lady who likes to say crap, i say i 4give u becoz....im..nice? lmao. ( kiddin )=] i wont point out ur wrong, i wont tell u i dont like it when u said those shitties about us, but i say i 4give u is becoz i know ppl arent perfect, we dont tend to be, besides ur not me afterall, u wont know how it feels when ppl said stuffs like tat about u. ;/
n to think i kinda like you as a sista. '/


.Roxy Rose.

UNBEATABLE ME!

i felt so bad, the phone was beside me, but dont know who to ring.
and... ....
i found my best friends God and my music.
thank you. <3333333

im still strong, yea i am! its okey. it will be okey again. i know it will.

u shouldnt have told me. ;/

She waited the whole day, just to give him a call. he picked up the phone, his voice made up her dull day. shes in her best moment when he talks, when he speaks to her.
Yet
it hurts when the whole conversation is filled with emptiness. he told her about this girl, who invited him for a rock n roll concert. she shouldn't feel tat bad, but i say, her heart aches so badly, it really does. y her? y tell her? it hurts it really does. coz shes afraid she will be beated by that girl, the girl who invited you for a rock n roll concert. "she ask you to go, u agreed, 1oo plus bucks, you're willing to go for it. if i ask you to go for Simple Plan's concert how will you reject me?" it hurts form the bottom of her heart, it really does.

*****************************************************************************************************************

i feel so bad, i really do. i need my bed, n just let my tears roll down the way they want to. just trying so hard to cover the fact tat im hurting, coz i want u in the other edge of the phone to know tat im strong, im unbeatable.

********************************************************************************

She hated it, when he wanted her to hang down the phone, i guess he got over her already. tell me how should she react again?


i guess i just said something wrong.
i guess i just did.
im sorry, for no reason.

no wait,

the reason is,
i dont want to lose you, i wont want it to happen.
n i do all my best to mend every broken pieces
i just needed to know how long i can hang in there for him

how did i manged to be tat strong?
how did i wear my mask so perfectly
how did i made my tears freeze in front of everyone?
how did i covered my pain so perfectly?

i never wanted to cry
i never wanted to
but the tears just seemed to drop
they drop randomly... ...

<3 United <3

today is a Tuesday, Com. class was a waste of time for me, well cos i dont really know or lets say i dont know wats Access? well, PE was crap. 12 minutes run, is always a fear, but i think i kinda over come in easily... ...


thought the girl was bored over everything
couldnt believe boredness gets equal
the phone rang just knew it was him
picked up the phone the voice made up her day
like again
wheres the boredness again?

n then he just needed her help tats all
she thought she could chaged him
she was wrong like all the time
there he goes asking for help
its hard or lets say impossible to say no to him

she helped called back
the Hello was cold as winter nite
the whole conversation was her trying to be hyper to get him back
the TV show seems more interesting than her
he tried to hang down the phone
she could feel it
but just wanted to force herself to believe this time is different

and there he goes letting her down again

I DONT WANNA BE ADDICTED!!!!!!

all wat made me sit here
is the belief tat i will hear ur voice
tell me wat made you my lullaby?
tell me wat made me needed you so much?

when the night gets darker
my thoughts for you get deepened
tell me why am i addicted to you?
tell me why do i needed you so desperately?

i say i need to back off
i dont want to live in this situtaion
no no NO
i want my life back

i dont know who you really are
i dont know are you trully worth it
all i know is im tired
i really am.

maybe you dont need me afterall
im just her replacement
now youre done
everything is said
im beated

im sorry for wasting your cash
im sorry for wasting your time
im sorry for letting chances fade
most important im sorry for letting you down

the good thing is
you had grown
u dont need me anymore
u dont need me by your side

maybe you had found another replacement
sorry...just thought you were the one

just no phone call, and you beat me.

its not like i need a voice b4 bedtime
its not like i cant survive coz im still alive
its just i dont feel like sleeping without a goodnight
its just i dont want things to be part of the past

flipping over the phone a million times
those calls aint the ones tat will make up my day



when the nite gets cold
i just need a blanket
when the nite gets dark
i just need a candle
when i miss you
i just wish i could see you smile


midnight the clock strucks twelve
i told myself i need to wake up
its a new day
a new day to be a better me


promise me the future is still ours
promise me you will be there on your knees
promise me you will give us both a chance
promise me you still like me

RoxY.

skool had just started. my holiday.....equals gone.
this years teacher, r...errrr..okey, but seriously i still prefer some 08 teacher.
not asking for much, just saying.

****************************************

i saw them together
i admit
i dont feel good

i know no one belongs to anyone
but tell me why do i believe tat things will work out?
tell me why do i feel deep when i see u both?
you told me its over
how much can i trust you?

shes weird
how could she still react like nothing happened?
i guess this is mature
mature enough to believe tat things come n go

i got over it
everything is flowing in the correct track
tell me why do i still need your attention
why do i still need a voice to end my day?

i had grown but not yet mature
almost 17.

.Jan 09.

had a so called "brain storming" with the parents LAST NITE, which made me cried and lasted for one hour more. they want me to tell them everything i wanna say to them, my feelings, my thoughts, and so on. i have to say, im not ready yet, im really not. im sorry, i dont know about the future but rite now, i dont feel like saying wat i need to say to you both, well not totally NOT, we'll see. the fact is, im not use to say my inner feelings to you both, i know you guys are doing ur best to make up an AWESOME family tie thing, im still not in to it, im not used to, u know? sorry...;/ everytime things are just so wron timing, when ever i feel like saying my inner feelings, u guys will be busy and so on. and when u guys are feeling to be a great parents, im just NOT usually in to it, im sorry. im random.

give me some time, to cope over the changes... ...and mom mentioned about the "four words" stuffs, u know the fuck, the damn, the hell, even crap or lame maybe... ...she wanted me to change, this i say, this i say, i really really need time.
************************************************************
its a brand new year!!!and im feeling on my top.'>&<

i know my goals already, and im ready for a REVOLUTION. a ROXY ROSE REVOLUTION.

1. i wanna do well in my academics, this is my responsiblity. i know i cant beat them, this i have sth to say, i cant beat the so called"tops" its not because im not better than them, its because i know where i stand i know my standard. i will be the best tat i can become, i will be unbeatable. i dont like to flip over my books and look through the dic. but i know academic is important, and i know tat IT FEELS GREAT WHEN YOU WORK HARD ON SOMETHING.

2. ELS, I'll MAKE IT A PLACE WHERE EVERYONE WANTS TO BE IN. its not easy, next year will be even more tough. but i will accept it, its ELS's revolution afterall.

3.A DAUGHTER. for these few years, i havent been a daughter. well i WAS a plastic, like a plastic daughter, there for dads parties, n say "hey, im MR. Benson Choo's daughter. nice to meet you" and say goodnite to mom n dad. the surface things, i think i did it well. but to me, a daughter isnt just like tat. it has to be more.

4.Relatives. im not good at saying grossing stuffs to them. even if they are my siblings, relatives. but its so easy to say I HEART YOU to my gangs.

the 3 and 4 Revolution. its not easy for me. coz i need to totally change, maybe i might even change my mind, i dont know. its not easy for me.

5.BE ROXY ROSE. i wanna be myself, even more. i have so many surfaces, and i want eveyone who cares to see all my sides. maybe not all but 88% will be great.

6.ONE MORE THING, IM NOT DUMB. just too brilliant to hide myself. >&<

7.A GREAT FRIEND. i wanna be a friend tat all my friends had ever ever had. i wanna be a friend tat i wish to have.

8.PROTECT OR LETS SAY GUARD MY GADGETS. first my cell, this cell means so much to me,it really does. i had already ruined the I-pod ( which i think its not my fault, its just time for it to be reparred )';/==. the family computer, which i say WE all need to protect it, stop installing craps. =0

9.NOT TO BE ADDICTED TO ANYONE. which is tough. so used to have someone running through my veins.

10.SAVE BUCKS. this year bucks are said not to be flowing well. i need to save for the family, even if its just one sms. yea, one.

11.MAKE TIME FOR GOD. i always ask God to make my wish come true. but how much do i understand God?

12.SLEEP EARLY? yea.

13.DO SOME OUTINGS. NOT THE SHOPPING ONE, THE EXERCISE ONE.

14.HAVE FUN!'>*<

.roxyrose.