.Jan 09.

had a so called "brain storming" with the parents LAST NITE, which made me cried and lasted for one hour more. they want me to tell them everything i wanna say to them, my feelings, my thoughts, and so on. i have to say, im not ready yet, im really not. im sorry, i dont know about the future but rite now, i dont feel like saying wat i need to say to you both, well not totally NOT, we'll see. the fact is, im not use to say my inner feelings to you both, i know you guys are doing ur best to make up an AWESOME family tie thing, im still not in to it, im not used to, u know? sorry...;/ everytime things are just so wron timing, when ever i feel like saying my inner feelings, u guys will be busy and so on. and when u guys are feeling to be a great parents, im just NOT usually in to it, im sorry. im random.

give me some time, to cope over the changes... ...and mom mentioned about the "four words" stuffs, u know the fuck, the damn, the hell, even crap or lame maybe... ...she wanted me to change, this i say, this i say, i really really need time.
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its a brand new year!!!and im feeling on my top.'>&<

i know my goals already, and im ready for a REVOLUTION. a ROXY ROSE REVOLUTION.

1. i wanna do well in my academics, this is my responsiblity. i know i cant beat them, this i have sth to say, i cant beat the so called"tops" its not because im not better than them, its because i know where i stand i know my standard. i will be the best tat i can become, i will be unbeatable. i dont like to flip over my books and look through the dic. but i know academic is important, and i know tat IT FEELS GREAT WHEN YOU WORK HARD ON SOMETHING.

2. ELS, I'll MAKE IT A PLACE WHERE EVERYONE WANTS TO BE IN. its not easy, next year will be even more tough. but i will accept it, its ELS's revolution afterall.

3.A DAUGHTER. for these few years, i havent been a daughter. well i WAS a plastic, like a plastic daughter, there for dads parties, n say "hey, im MR. Benson Choo's daughter. nice to meet you" and say goodnite to mom n dad. the surface things, i think i did it well. but to me, a daughter isnt just like tat. it has to be more.

4.Relatives. im not good at saying grossing stuffs to them. even if they are my siblings, relatives. but its so easy to say I HEART YOU to my gangs.

the 3 and 4 Revolution. its not easy for me. coz i need to totally change, maybe i might even change my mind, i dont know. its not easy for me.

5.BE ROXY ROSE. i wanna be myself, even more. i have so many surfaces, and i want eveyone who cares to see all my sides. maybe not all but 88% will be great.

6.ONE MORE THING, IM NOT DUMB. just too brilliant to hide myself. >&<

7.A GREAT FRIEND. i wanna be a friend tat all my friends had ever ever had. i wanna be a friend tat i wish to have.

8.PROTECT OR LETS SAY GUARD MY GADGETS. first my cell, this cell means so much to me,it really does. i had already ruined the I-pod ( which i think its not my fault, its just time for it to be reparred )';/==. the family computer, which i say WE all need to protect it, stop installing craps. =0

9.NOT TO BE ADDICTED TO ANYONE. which is tough. so used to have someone running through my veins.

10.SAVE BUCKS. this year bucks are said not to be flowing well. i need to save for the family, even if its just one sms. yea, one.

11.MAKE TIME FOR GOD. i always ask God to make my wish come true. but how much do i understand God?

12.SLEEP EARLY? yea.

13.DO SOME OUTINGS. NOT THE SHOPPING ONE, THE EXERCISE ONE.

14.HAVE FUN!'>*<

.roxyrose.