31 December.

in this post, its a flashback. wat have i done wat ever pop up, will be typed.
07 to 08 new year countdown, was crap. yup one word CRAP. in my memories tat is wat i rmbered.

refreshing back at when skool openned, i was totally on my vein, everyone looks so fresh to me, i adore my classmates.

the broke up with Dave, the so called "reunion" with Brendon, was preety cool( i mean the Brendon thing not Dve ), well tats was the past, he ( Brendon ) made me lke drawn in a million feet when he didnt even at least try to save THAY whole mess, tat was a crap! OH, N IM SO GLAD TAT WE BROKE UP! YUPIEEEE.... '=D oh yea, n chocalates? yea tat was sth too.

God made everything happen for me, Nic is the greatest ever, Anna is my adoreness, n ELS!!!MY BABY! ahahahahA. S1AC108, Turbo was once my addicness, im now addicted too...errr....erm yea, we talk crap EVERY SINGLE NITE'=D ... add jade will never be 4gotten, bolevard 1992 we found our own path, n im happy for all of u guys, hui thong, shin, shiling, wen fei, thanks for making my part time job, rock! wat else? DJ im glad u found ur happiness. yea, mom n dad, u guys r preety awesome too, so is the whole package( u know who u guys are ), still thanks loads for everyone.


this years SCHOOL ANNIVERSARY was THE BEST EVER!!!!!!!!!well for me, IT WAS.=D hahahaha im telling myself tat 09 will be AWESOME MORE AWESOME, just wait and see, I WILL STILL BE PART OF IT!!!!<333333333333

THE CAMP GANG! yea how can i forget ya'all? i had so much fun on the camp, i reALLy did. i luv it when everyone luvs seeing me beING myself, n u guys yea u guys, made me shine from the inside out, first i admit i thought it will be a lame camp, serious shit tat is wat i thought, but then it was the best ever, I LOVE KANG LE N THE CAMP LEADERS, N YEA YEA, EVERYONE WHO MADE ME LAUGH I HEART YOU ALL!!!!!!!

my 08 school holiday is the best best very best ever, i spent every minutes with joy, well not every but i really did enjoy, at least i dont have to be a potato coach the entire holiday, unlike the past holidays, yea!

wat else? yea, Roxy Rose. i luv her so much!!!!!!!!!she is the rocking gal eva! thanks you for Not giving up on challenges, thank you for believing in God and yourself, thank you for being a brilliant gal, shes NOT ordinary, just too cool for you, lmao. just kidding. '=D
I HEART ROXY ROSE!!!!!!!!!<333333333333333333333333oh,>

still loads not recorded. but i can shout to the world when i flashback about My SWEET 16, I NEVER WASTED THIS YEAR, THIS YEAR HAS BEEN A MIRACLE. thank you, a big big thank you to everyone out there for me.

I HEART MY LIFE! '=D

08 ROXYROSE. the last, yea the last post for this year. thank you for reading it. ur an awesome reader, yes you are. =) no doubt.

mirror.

went to add jades house to celebrate her SWEET 16, went out for lunch with her sis and her friends her bf was there too. but she told me she didnt enjot it though, totally make sence to me, seriously i will feel bored of tat kind of birthday celebration, planning to have a "REAL" b'dae celebration with the gangs when school starts, cant wait.

happy sweet 16 deary. ><>

********************************************************

dad told me some craps on the way to add jades house. seriously, i knew tat all the way. please, dont treat me as a little kid, just make things straight, tell me, " hey you shouldnt end up in a relationship in this kind of so called young age ". im kinda frustrated. yea the health importance, the family issues, friendship stuffs, it totally make sence to me. did u heard me then? i told u i am big enough i know wats good for me or lets say US, tat is y i made things clear with the lad.

i wanna be my own mirror, I WANNA BE one of my MY OWN ROLE MODEL, make my own mistakes and mend it in my way.

for all this time, i dont want to stare at the mirror, and i dont see myself. i always follow people's footstep. wat ever ppl are obssesed, i just kept on following, well not TOTALLY, coz im a gal with her OWN PERSONAL UNIQUE THINKING, DONT JUDGE ME. WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME? remember tat, im not like you or any others.
so in this whole drama, i made it clear, i wanna be a role model for myself this time, i wanna follow my heart, i wont enter this relationship, yea u heard me. i wanna be a role model about
" letting your dreams fly as high as it could ever be". everyone will say im doing the rite thing, but do i myself think so too? wat if i can do well in both?
its okey, we dont get wat we want, normal.

one more thing is, my conclussion, dont be too obssesed about anything when your in my age. really, should just focus on things tat will bring you high up, which is your so sure its right for you. if the one your holding on, is the one you had always wanted, go for it! if not, its okey, ur better of alone, and someone will be there, wating for you. so, no worries.

wow, full of colors in this post.

grown.

roxy rose, has never been so "high pitch" before.

i luv myself, n i luv being my own mirror.

i dont want to grow up.

i wanna be a teenager forever
i never wanna grow up
adults life is too complicated
i dont want to accept it

i thought u wanted to see me be myself
the girl who likes to be herself in front of people
i thought i will bring you glory
i was wrong i brought you shame

im sorry i didnt know u wanted me to put on my mask
im sorry i had let you down
like all the time
its my fault for being myself

if tommorrow i wake up and have been told
i will be 16 forever
i guess my life will be boring and dull
16 forever is tat wat i really wanted?

i said i wanted to write something, this is the something.

i have been giving you a lot of unseen presures recently, but this post is to show you how much u meant to me. ^^

*************************************************

i am 16
never wonder what life will bring me
never wonder God gave me all of these
to make me a happy one

and there you are
at the crossroad
you look cute even with kids fashion trend
i believe it will be shown one day in a runway

i turn left
u turn right
we never go the same way
coz tat is wat we are made of
and tat is wat added up the happinness between us

question makrs running through each others head
never made it right

*to be continued*

my XMAS.

this years Xmas wasnt so fun afterall, hangout in Spore. gee...its not tat great, i have to say. but at least got the chance to hangout with Choo Yi n the family. tat was awesome then.

***************************************************

u ask me wats with us
i dont know
though this has been circling me all the time
im speacless now

being confuss
dont know how to react infront of u anymore
im lost
i dont know how to start

im so tired
so easily being beated
yet i always act strong
always act reckless in front of you

you double the happiness in me
you double up the sorrowness in me
give me an answer
an unfortable answer

we smile to each other
we giggle together
but tell me
do you feel the distance between us?
coz i do

we havent started our journey
and i felt so left out
tell me how can we fix it
im tense over the unspoken
the unspoken we have been keeping from each other

im sorry
im not tat perfect
i know you never wish i was perfect
but i hope i was to measure you up

today.

we went out, the four jokers, lady boss, sis, me, n dragon.
i say its okey, at least i can meet everyone, n i luv hui thong, bought my shirt, the pink one VIP, for the camp gathering.

***********************************************

ur not over ur ex
so im just her replacement afterall
u shouldnt tell me
u should just fake it

im everytihng shes not
im really not
im just not
n ur punishiming me for it

ur hurting me do u know?
u never know
coz u never care
u really just dont

u make me feel so ashame
im sorry im not perfect
just all messed up
shes good i know

im crying do u know?
i dont wanna just be friends
i dont want
i really dont want

im not ur tool
if u care u should tell me about her
it hurts it really does
im not kidding

life isnt like this
you tear it around
never put it in the correct track
ur wrong

never try to put things back
its not like tat
i never get it right
so do you

im not going to change
u can leave me
u dont need to mend my heart
its already broken

its the end
i just dont know
y do i still forgive u eveytime
giving u the chances

it all happens becos i really really am in-like with you
dont u still get it?
ur dumb!
u really r

this girl.

this girl forgives u everytime

she never cares about the wastage she had done for u

becos she likes to see u smile

she likes u from the bottom of her heart

u told her ur feelings

gave her hope to find the fairytale she had wanted

but then u never move on

leaving her all alone

if u still like her

please dont give up

u shouldnt let her wait so long

becos u r the guy she adores

u should just go for it

grab her hands like u had never touch a hand before

tell her again u like her like u will never have the chance

look into her eyes like u have seen the most beautiful eyes in ur life

if shes invisible

u wont see how much she adores u

u wont see how much she needed u

but she isnt so y cant u see through her?

christmas.

Finally! it will be Christmas, my favorite season of the year, well its always summer here, but i like to enjoy those fake snowflakes n dress lovely on Jesus's Birthday, seeing everyone smiling, laughing just sound so peaceful.

December 25, totally looking forward to it. the countdowns, the screamings, everything. when Christmas comes, it means tat a new year is going to begin again. i will be 17 then. Yes, all of a sudden, i will be 17. i know time flies, i really do. i cherish everything around me.
2009 say i will be different, i say i will show everyone A NEW ME, stay tune.

*********************************************************************

traceline luvs her Rockable life.

i heart my camp n my life.

the RS gruop in camp adores me, so do I. juat like waT i said, i cant really dance the moves n so on. but who cares? coz i did enjoy the camp thing, i mean the whole camp thing. most important i luv everyone in the RS group i really do. its just a matter of how much, lmfao.

i met Nic n Vic, i thought they were mad coz i didnt turn out for society meeting, but guess wat? i was so totally wrong!~Nic still luvs me, im so so happy about tat, n their frand is so cool, i mean wow, he is so funny, HYPO too~!~

life's like this,

i mean, i shouldnt worry so much, i just shouldnt. i mean, life isnt like this, we shouldnt think so negative, not so negative, but shouldnt think negative.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i hate casey i have to say. so damn no manners i say this in a rude way.*********8interupted my mood. FISH! LIKE DARN FISH.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i shll continue my blog writing when i feel like.

damn! casey! damn u, destroyed my mood.
fuck.

back.

the best of the trip is Malacca. Aunt Mary's mother is a rocking 9o year old lady. shes so cool i really have to say this, so POSITIVE mind thinking lady. I ADORE HER.

*************************************************************************************************

n then i say....

i just went for a 1 week holiday, n look, everything seems to change. it had changed. please tell me wats wrong. i know i have been acting like a slacker these days, but its not like i wont put everything in the correct track again.

i dont know wats wrong, i really just dont know. for a few seconds b4, everything was fine. until i called, everything just seems so wrong.
everyone sounded okey in the calls, its just me i guess. it really is me. its like the one on the other side of the phone is rocking wild, n im so sick n dead. wats wrong? hello, im still Traceline. so yea.

ELS, im sorry for not being a good leader, i know its my fault. i have been waiting for changes until, all of these sucky things just pop out from nowhere, im not myself anymore. im sorry Nic, im sorry i know ur dissapointed, i really know u r. im sorry Vic, for not being a good partner for u, im really sorry. but i PROMISE i will mend everything again.

RS in camp, damn, my biggest sorry goes out to all of u in there, when all of u r like danging doing preperations, i wasnt dere, its my fault also for being so laid back.

my family, now u guys r happy, im to blame. i told u i never wanted such a long holiday, family trip? y not call it a suffer trip?

my 8th december.

my job has ended today, totally miss it. i luv or lets say i heart everything about it.
i will miss
Chris( my boss ), juby, terressa, Seed( already missed ), anther one, all the make up artist, Michael ( sound dude ), my peeps, everytihng the stage, totally everytihng about it.
ive totally learnt a lot these dayz. thanks to all of ya!

ELS is heading to Kukup, 2moro, n im heading to Genting and KL, i like KL, but Genting, not really, hope tat this time will be different, just like wat Nic always remind me,
suck the fun outta it! ';D thanks nic, u have always been my besties, now and always.<3333333333

*******************************************************


I 4gave everything about you
coz i believe tat its all worth it
i will miss you for sure
i was just hidding

promise me you will take care of urself
no1 will be there to talk crap with ya for at least one week more
most important no1 will remind you tat ur awesome
but you always are

dont skip meals
i heart every moment spent with you
just tell me im not thinking too much
hearted it

i hope time can stop
in the moment i feel safe n myself
cant believe everything needed a change

can my life b a football court
can i see my own goal
the goal i wanted?

i felt tired
but i wont sleep
coz i wanna cherish the moment with you

how about u?
when u feel alone
who do u think of?

we aint meant for each other
but y do we insist to give it a try?
y r we willing to take the risk?

im so tired
tired of searching topics to interest u
tired of thinking about our happy endings
tired of thinking about all those impossibles

everytime when i try to let go of you

u have the power to make me miss you
n then i wont let u go not anymore

everytime when i wanna cry
you have the might to make me smile
n then my tears will dry up

tell me im not in-like with you
coz i dont wanna be addicted to you
coz i hate the pain

n then i will wake up like nothing happen
like a daydream
n then i will 4get about everything
only remembering tat I LIKE YOU

im too addicted.

my biggest mistake
is to be addicted to you
my day rules becos of u
it was ruined becos of u too

i cant believe ur power
its so incredible
its just so powerful
everyday seems like a routine to me

i cant believe im speacless now

i feel so empty... ...

the past was never forgotten
it will never be
ur the first
ur all i want

for the whole day
ur eyes ur smiles
r all i think about
every second was all about u

ur story has been told
i wish u were there
to celebrate the miracle
to hear all the incredible

i miss u
i shouted to the world
where r u when i need ur voice?
i miss u

i feel so empty
i guess im addicted to u
where r u?
i miss u

please tell me ur okey
i cant function without u
ur the only thing tat keeps me awake
n now where r u?

wat should i do?
i waited so long
for this moment
n ur not there

i miss my dude
i really do
just wondering
am i wat ur thinking about now?

I MISS U!!!!!!!!I SHOUT TO THE WORLD...

hey look.

i know we r the present
i dont wanna get hurt
im sorry u did
i should b the one to appologize
it never is u

its just im not prepared
really
im sorry
its too sudden
ur all i wanted n now ur mine
i cant
i need time to take this changes
i really do

if u say sorry, it will meant the world to me.

if only u know ur wrong

n apologize

how nice will tat be?

i still insist tat its not over yet

i still believe in this

thank u for making my day light up

ur still part of my happiness

u meant everything to me, n im surprise u knew it all the way..

u played a fool on her innocence
making it feel like its a fairytale
n then u just leave her there
all alone

u can laugh all u want
u can do wat u want
but the heart is broken
dont try to mend it

ur nothing get it?
if the last thing she wanna think about
is u n ur darn method of fooling
ur even worser than the past

she cant believe it
this is how u treat her?
this is how u treat a pathetic girl?
u have some nerves in there

u just made it clear, didnt u?
u just did, u really did
u prove to her tat there is no fairytale
bravo to u, the dream spoiler

ur taking her for granted
u really are
she doesnt know how to react anymore
she really dont know

she doesnt wanna see or hear anythin
ever again

what is wrong with me?

still figuring out wat happened
the scene is playing in my head
over n over again
like it wont stop

take one step by a time
i just hope tat time can still wait for this one
this will be a miracle
it will be different i believe

i dont know wat is happening
i really dont know
not anymore
i hope everything is meant

the fact is
its still making me shiver
and this time im not good at expressing
i dont even know wats moving in my brain

this chemical flowing in my brain
is weird
i hope it can still be saved
i hope for the best will happen

somebody, anybody just take me away.

i hang down the phone
i told myself i wont cry

this isnt my shit

i shouldnt give a damn about it

but y does this thing fall down to me?

i just want everyone to have fun

they told me they will take good care about it

look, this is wat they mean

throwing everything back to me again

i hate you all

they told me i can trust them

these are all just a pile of lies

no one is who i can trust

even myself i cant trust myself

we laugh together

we make jokes of each other

we told each other we will be together

i used to believe it

but not anymore

when ur alone

u cry alone

no one sees your tears

no one will give a damn about it anymore

those memories r just jokes tat i lied to myself

take me away

let me leave this place

i dont wanna see anything

i dont wana hear anything

i dont wanna believe in miracle

not anymore

love vs money

i sit on the chair
figuring out y dad n mom go crazy

im just trying to show the innocence

hidden inside i know its because of us

they just wanted to earn money for us to have a better life

sometimes i run away from reality

sometimes i choice to be in my small world

coz im my world money never conqure

in my world only peace n love rule

i guess im just too immature

too immature to figure out money's power

if we can get wat we want while not losing love

tell me, isnt tat better?

i guess im just too young

inmature to think about wat make life rule

all i know is hidden inside

i luv love more than anything else

it has been a long day today.

i luv my job, my seniors, my campers, everything, i just miss turbo, the Anna i used to know.
the Anna who always care for me, who always have the best msgs tat will cheer me up, i think shes gone... ...i guess she got bored of me afterall.

tat fucking turbo, an assing dude. where had he been? for pissing shake. will he ever come back?

i cant tell u how i feel, i just know everything is getting me.

i have to admit

days flowing without u is hard

i know i have to get over u

coz u are the pain i dont wanna 4get

i know i have to leave

but a voice inside my head

its telling me to persist

i dont know anymore

i can feel how she feels

coz i am going through it too

i didnt mean to fake

i just thought it is the right thing to do

the sun will come out again

tell me u will still treat me well again

tell me i havent been 4gotten

im not a pass not yet

i will pick up everything

every little pieces

every little steps tat u left me alone

left me figure out alone

nothin just those hidden ones.

hands covering the face

the fake smiles couldnt be twisted anymore

tears rolling down
like they have no where to go
instead hidding they choice to fall

i dont belong

but i force to squeeze in

tell me its over

tell me its the beginning

dont tell me i have been forgotten

i dont want to live in miserable

its just everything flowed unexpected

very unexpected

looking at the birghtside

is just a way to let everything fade by time

i need to stand up

i need to go against the odds
who needs fake comforts

all i need to know is tat i am alive

alive to show the world i dont give up

rrrrr

im not just a lucky lass, i am an awesome lass!

never knew tat i was something too
she treated me well just like a buddy
couldnt imagine it
its a miracle
it really is
i guess all this time i had been thinking too much then

***************************************************

im kinda bored with this site already
i guess i have to say it?
i mean its like a blog hidding in no where
huh?

untitled. a.k.a. part 4 unknown

a hidden picture is always kept between the words

waited so long.

just thought the mail man will send me a mail

a mail from you

but nope

everyone recieved the special mail

just me

left with nothing

i was curious about the parcel which slipped off my hand

just wondering wat is in it.

i am left with nothing

i knew i was nothing

but you kept making me feel im everything

how should i face it?

i know nothing

right?

we smile together, i cry alone.

smiles and laughters are shared with everyone

but how about tears?

how many is willing to help mend your feelings?

how many?

so called friends

show up on your benefit day

no benefit

you wont see them

so called enemies

always show up on your worst

like usual

tat is their job isnt it?

i just wanna know

why must we cry alone?

why cant we go through everything together?

why?

why must the person u care most break your heart

why?

trying so hard to fit in.

its raining here
everything turned out just fine
until i screwed up again
my message sucks
i was critisize again

it has always been like this
so hard to fit in
even in the surroundings

i will be strong for sure
i know a lot of people care about me
i know they do
i luv nic, bro, anna, random royalty, bolevard 92, add jade.

my life is surrounded by all those imperfect.
and...
i like it this way.

everythings over.

i screwed up on my test.
* * *
sometimes its hard to feel tat something went so wrong and you cant blame anyone but YOURSELF. im not obbsessed with anyone anymore ANYMORE yea, if i ever try to get back please hold me back.

**************************************************************************************

at night

sitting on the corner of the bed

staring at the celing

wondering how did i ended up this way

nothing falled from the sky

only tears rolling down the cheeks

i felt bad for myself

i really do

no one can help me

no one knows the right thing to say anymore

never felt like that before

it was helpless and so depressed

just tell me

i will get over all these

just tell me

tomorrow will be different

random post...a.k.a.untitiled part three

i miss Anna, i read her msg, know wat she has to say. randomly it means, she wants me to stand strong and go through everything confindently. i cant ask for more.
luv ya anna!
i dont know wat is nic n vic going through, but i still wish this two love birds the best and ever.

my best sis and my boss next year, all the best!!!!!!<3333333333

*****************************************

so you see tat little pic i did on photobucket? as in the pic with a lass and loads of buildings, i found it in photobucket. and i luv it.

and then i say, i hate tests, argh! its just giving me headache, for sure! who cares man, i mean everyone has to go through it. but, i dont know man, maybe im aiming to high? i dont know anymore. fearing geo, his, book-keeping.

loads to do.

after my test, you will see me blasting everywhere.

stay tune, i hope i could do those random things tat i had wanted to do in my holidays.

happy mugging, i say to myself. ><

look, i am strong in the surface, but not in the inside.

im not any super heroes you see on tv, im just me, a girl still trying to find her ownself. please dont hurt me like that, please dont.

******************************************************

i dont know wats wrong, everything seems okey in the surface, but not in the inside. its always a pain to hear nasty words coming out from someones mouth who you treated like a friend. its not my type to be a super hero. i dont get it, how did these heroes get over all of these?
well, i admit i have fault for this issue, but give me some space, give me some advice, to go through all these.


where is the one i used to know?
im alone everytime, when i cant share every bit with you.
maybe, you dont know me anymore
maybe i dont catch your eyes like before
maybe everything tat happened had been erased
our past had been forgotten

traceline. the new one.

they all say tat i am a slacker, a prep, a drama queen. all i can say is, i wont prove you wrong or anything, its not because i am a coward, its becos i believe tat everyone has the right to speak up for themselves. if u dont like me, deal with it. cos i wont change for you, yes you the nasty you.

i am different than any ordinary lass out there, because i am who i am. and to those lass out there who think that u are ordinary, please dont think tat way. you are different because you are you, the special you. ordinary is just a just a way you hide your ownself. step out from tat little box of yours, dare to dream. dont think ordinary, think uniquely, dont think you cant do it because someone said you cant, you are even more special than you think you are.

i am proud to say tat i had grown up, yes it just took me one day to see the clearer world.
i cant say its easy to be me, because in my life, ppl critisize me for a reason, they dont know who i am, even those so call FAMILY, FRIENDS nope, they dont know me.

oh yea and about this thing call love, i say its not yet my turn, to see its magnificent power. i wont wait for it to come, i wont fight for it yet, i will just live everyday the way i want it to be, and leave out all the rest. whether love enters or not, its up to it. i wont be a love slaver anymore. to those out there, i say if you think its the right one, GO FOR IT. if not, then just leave it. its useless to think aobut it night and day.

yo, traceline has grown up! no more the lass who tries her best to please you. not anymore.
WATCH ME SHINE PEEPS.!.

untitiled.

a long day again
i miss anna
turbo is an ass like always
my hair cut, sigh man forget about it
my life=a self ruined life
i can only blame myself
working to put everything back in track again
i know its a process
a long one
i need someone to listen to my sorrows
but no one is there

*****************************************
her phone rang
someone interepted
she will ask me to wait
only my teddy is there for me
the broken me
i luv my teddy

okey now i feel sad, i really do.

nothing went right on this journey
absolutely nothing
i hated it this way
i really do

it first was the best
i thought i could go through all of this
and be the best
be the historical creature

time proves me wrong
words prove me tat i am nothing
why cant i put everything down
why cant i?

i just wanna be different
tats all
really tats all
i just want people to see who i really am

****************************************************

Life is one big stage
And it's all the rage
To go walking out
To take a bow

See me roam
See me climb
If I leave here now
I can make good time

See me fall
See me rise
Grabbing one last look
Then I wave goodbye

Light shines on my face
When I need my space
I've been feeling blue
How bout you?

Now this bird has flown
Like I've always known it would
Maybe someday soon
You'll be flying too

See me roam
See me climb
If I leave here now
I can make good time

See me fall
See me rise
Grabbing one last look
Then I wave goodbye

You try you try to hold on
Too late
Too late
I'm gone

Life's a stage
It's all the rage
The curtains raised
I'm coming out

Life's a stage
The curtains raised
I'm coming out
Life's a stage

The curtains raised
I'm coming out
See me roam
See me climb

If I leave here now
I can make good time
See me fall
See me rise
Grabbing one last look
Then I wave goodbye

You try you try to hold on
Too lateToo late
You try you try to hold on
Too lateToo laaaaaaaaaaaaate It's too late I'm gone

untitled a.k.a. complicated yet the most simple.

i waited for the clock to struck 8 plus or 9
all my veins were shivering
by all the words
i guess its called history repeating

if everything goes wrong again
if i dont feel like doing it
please stop me
please someone anyone
please make it stop

remind me of how a races slaver was
remind me of this
i never wanna be like tat ever again

i hate TURBO, I DONT CARE WAT ANYMORE.

its a bet in life.

im not okey
but i dont feel a thing
is this growing up?
i hope it is
i should be sad since he cheated on me
but i dont feel a thing
************************************

I HATE TURBO!!!!!!

tat is all you know?

i waited for you
my cheeck are flushing red
my eyes are in pain
where the fuck are you?

i guess youre just another cheater
another heartbreaker

telling myself tat i will be okey
sometimes it just wont work
i dont know why

i just need a relaxing study plan
an awesome bunch of sisters
a dude friend
online buddies
its just things i used to have
who took it away from me?
who?
i dont know.

i told you i will be okey then
not knowing tat u r one of the reason of my sadness, dont u?

im leaving
i just need to hang in there for one more n a more month
yea? no need advisor also can surivive.
*********************************************************

i guess im sad becos i had been thinking to much all the way.
the cheerful me will be back.

farewell. is it the end?

i told myself i wont cry. but i just did... ... the moment i think about ya'all will be graduating, its just too sad to accept the truth, am sorry i just let you all see my tears.
****************************************************************************************************************
i dont feel anything today, i seriously just dont. at least not in the beginning but then, on playing games its just an ass. oh yea! the lunch was okey Mr.Goh is kinda nice sometimes. haha thanks to my little bro who help out today, its a BLAST to know ya! =D

then gifts distributing, sigh man kinda sad only Mr. ball and Mr. foo came. still luv them to bits.>33333333
and then it was the drama part.

my tears shed when i think about i wont see them again. on gift distributing, i cried. after tat on shaking hands with my heroes, i felt okey. but when i entered the next room, my tears blur my eyes again, jia round came, he told me he will come back 2 time every month. can i believe him? i dont know man. i really dont know. anyway, promise you will, k? oh yea and our promise. the " treat me, if you found a partner" thing, hahaha i hope you still remember.=D
work hard my heroes.
oh yea happy 18 birthday to the 38 dude.!. happy always lad.

i luv english language society.
we aint dorks, just a butch of freaks!!!!!!so just rock on like us!!!!!!!!!!
******************************************************************

i am a gurl filled with happiness, i can be me, myself today is becos of all of you. =D
my life is filled with the best people tat i can ever imagine
my life road aint alone becos of all of you.

specially thanks to.
God
the Choo and Arquiza family
ELS
Random Royalty
bolevard1992
AC1
nicole anna
Roxanne Rose
the royal teachers
the royal rockstars

my luv and blessings are for all of you.<333333333333333333>

ELS.

im having fun in ELS
but how about the others? my duty isnt done
until every1 enjoys ElS
i luv english language society
but sometimes the bad feedback
really made me to give up
it really did
i dont know how far i could go
all i know is
i have to stand up for this society
i have to
i will take it as a mission
a promise from ELS
a promise from the ex
most of all a promise to me
i wont give up till the end
i wont
i will keep on fighting
until the end
just wait and see
2009 will be different

my life is a happy lass life...

nicole is fine tat is wot matters most
i know tat she will go through it
she is a tough lass
i luv her


still searching for anna
where has she been?
i hope she will come back sooner or later
anna, i miss you...


farewell party is coming
and a shopping trip with nic to S'pore will be coming!!!!
OH MY GOD! how cool will tat be?

he still treats me well
i still like him everytime
and i cant deny it
hes still the best for me



turbo replied my message
a lame one but still



bolevard1992 is going very well
add jade is blasting the era
going shopping with her again



oh yea and i like stacie orrico
the rnb queen in roxane's life
lmfao

sorry nic.

im sorry nic

i shoudnt told you all those fucktard shits

im sorry

its my fault

last night

your cries really freaked me
im scraed tat i wont see the nicole again

please dont

i still treat you like my sis

my big sis no mattar wot

dont be so negative
please dont

we are still going to make the best farewell eva in ELS

i want you to be back again

okey?

anna left me

dont left me

please dont

promise?

***************************************

dont let some1 get into your way

u cant

just be the nicole we all love

who gives a damn about wat she says

its useless

her opinion is just her opinion

not yours

not mine

not your mom's

not you dad's

most important

its not God's

remember this

i know this gurl...she lives in faraway street.

amy is a lass
never ask for more in life
just wanted a true frind near her

to hear her sorrows
to listen to the rhytem in her life
accepting who
she is
tats all
but that is the hardest treasure to find
no map
need to find it with faith
find it all by herself

she cries every night
alone with her little puppy doll
people laugh at her
she cares less

*******************************************

i know how she feels
from the bottom of my heart

so they told me
the word "believe"
lies a "lie"

my day.

today is my day

i like it this way

thought tat my day will suck

but it didnt

yet turned out blastly

i like it

thanks for the cheers

thanks for giving me stuffs to fill up my time

luv you all

most important

thank you for accepting me

for wh i am

will tomorrow be the same?

i dont know

all i know is

cherishing everyday

is wot i should do every single day

life aint tough

i just need to get over it

roxy rose

**********************************************

i hope tat you are doing great

though i still blame myself for being the shit

you told me

tat i shouldnt care bout wot u feel

but wot u feel means

loads to me

it really did

its the past

the forgotten past

to everyone out there

but not to me

not to you too

i guess

be happy

tat is the least i can wish for you

you really did lightened up moi life b4

roxy rose

.test is over.

the sucking test is over
i so like it
though didnt did well on ass hole history! DARN!
sigh man.
i guess i just shouldnt be tat lazy afterall.

*************************************************************

today's ENROLMENT IS A BLAST!!!!!!!!
i so luv it.
i luv my society
just hope tat everyone could enjoy it the way i do
just hope

*************************************************************

Nic is doing well with Vic
so is Add Jade and her dude

best wishes for all the luv birds out there

**********************************************

nicole is going through something
something huge in her life
i just know it

im not sure wot happened
things just didnt turn out the way she wanna
she just need a BLING in her life

i hope tat i could cheer her up
i just hope
but i guess this time is different

wot will happen tomorrow?
will tomorrow be different for nic?
i dont know

all i know is when she gets over all this
you will see a brand new Nicole
the best one in our era

if you're wondering who is nic
i hope tat u can still c her again
the nicole which i used to know
freak

good listener
lovely
the damn gurl tat rockz
i hope tat u could still c her again

roxy rose.

no forever...

i use to believe tat dere is still forever out there.

til u showed up

i hate the way u used to say those shits to me

i hate it

youre such a faker!!!!!

though i have to admit tat

those words you use to say

really gave me butterflies

really gave a slightly smile on my face

i guess i will be a lonely Dork

without you all

i know i will

but u just walked away

u saw me but u pretended like you didnt

i hate you this way

i really do

why must you be jealous of me?

why must you?

you did it to her too,

remember?

why must you always

let people learn their lessons

using your stupid, fucktard, loser, shitly method?

why must you?

tell me?

do you feel better after doin it to me?

i know i had changed for the past few years

i know i did

i thought its the best of me so far

i guess you just dont lke it

do you?

you dont like the new me do you?

please dont do this

it hurts.

it really does.

tell me how will a castle surive without its King?

tell me how will a cake taste good without Sugar?

tell me wot is Roxy Rose without u all?

i wish to tell u.

u never mention ur thought of me
not any more
i guess i have let u down
though u never tell me the real reason
or my problems

u give them everything
and left me empty handed
do u think its fair?
its not.
u will be out in a game.

knowing tat i cant beat them
is not the things i know only today
its the things i knew it from the beginning
and its not my motive to win them

i just hope tat u know my extinction
i hope you will give me support like how u gave every1
its the 1 thing i need from you
is tat very hard?

forget about it
im not meant to be something for u
but u meant something to me
if i can just spend more time with u
u will then know the real me

to deary nicole.

i know today didnt showed up the way u wanna,

but it isnt the end

u know wat i mean?

its still a bright day

ups n downs r the stuff tat make us grow stronger and ever

its a "must have"in life

like it or not

but the most important thing is how u look at your upsie and downies

tats the most important thing

take it us a challenge

a challenge from God

a challenge for yourself

i know u can do it

and tat is comfirm

u just need some time and a little support for urself

coz u already have 1000000% support from every1 out there

:D

we luv you nic

this relationship seems very tough

but if waterfall never hit big rocks

how will it show off its big splash?

if there is no rain

how will the grasses grow so steady?

how will the cheerful n bright rainbow pop out?

this is life!

like it or not

this is the life the full of challenge life

u will get over it

like all the time

no matter wot ppl have to say

no matter wot is going on

royal reddish roxane roxy rose is always there for the beautiful Nicole

and tat is a promise from traceline

**********************************************************************************

this msg is from moron to nicole:

Nicole，

知道你今天遭遇了许多不如意的事情，

也知道你现在很伤心，

但是我印象中的你是很乐观而且坚强的，

所以你要坚强去面对，

就把它当作是一个小小的障碍吧，

努力去越过它，

一切都会明朗的 ！

from the one and only moron jia yuan

my freaking awesome day!

I LUV MY DAY TODAY!!!!!!!
FOR SURE~~~~~~~!

very very first of all, i went to skool with rainbow cloud we went to the class.
first of all, we stood at the field for like two hours, its kinda lame i mean standing there doing nothing just listen to some really lame speech? i dont know man to me its crap! lmao. but at least my form teacher aint last year so yea i can still relax like dont have to be very " formal" stanoding at tat fucking muddy field.

lmao.
later on, with rainbow cloud, saw some performance of the primary skool, oh yea! there is foon yew 1 student too!!!!!FREAKING NICE, theres some dude behind doing some trick with their chinese yoyo, oh yea! there are so pro, and kinda nice looking though, lolx.

later on i took my bag from class and went to da society room with gordan, hui li, i mean both of them are like promoting our class so yea i joined them later on i left them both went to da society room from the side of the basketball court.

my dear nic was there its preety awesome to see her, I HEART NICOLE TO BITS<333333333333

we hang around in the society room, then went to the library to make sure that everythings going okey, and oh yea it sure was!!!!!!!!i even took a stamp society badge and started helping them to do some stuff since no ones helping them, after tat went for some snacks with nic to suppost those freak friends!>>>>>>

i bought fried rice from jia yuan, a freak out dude, then bought water from jing yi.
after tat we finished our lunch in society room. ITS AWESOME everything is like PERFECT! its so windy the food is okey, its so so windy.

after lunch me and nic thoguht tat hanging out in the library will be cooler. so we went back. and damn we went to take so many souveners from those soceity!!!!!!it was all a BLAST!!!
later on we went back to the society room we saw fishball and yee wen they congrats us both on our post next year. then we saw huang jie and da freaking lucky dude who can go to UK for studies and damn! his skool fee in UK, fuck up its so expensive like 1000 pounds a month. wot the hell? and then plus those general expenses, wow! cant believe it man!
anyway, in the society room we hang out with the other peeps there.

later on i need to help out in my class so nic and the rest followed me to my class to do my duties.

nic wish me to have fun, i wasnt so sure bout it, coz me and the preps? err...okey sure.
i didnt spot my friends dont know where they went, the whole place was crowded, i saw the moniter, i ask him wat can i do, and then he bought me to the baloon spot to help out. at frist those stupid dudes they ask me to stand in front of everyone and ask the people who come in to shoot stuffs on me, i know tat they are kiddingand i sorta thoght tat tat joke gave me a BLING!
hahahaha.

then i seat on a corner to pom some baloons, well i wasnt the one to pom those baloons. im the one to paste tape behind so tat dragon can stick in on the board me an joan.
its fun! i mean duh, we laugh. and so on. :D

after tat some peeps joined the help, later on i was hungry so i went to the busy place to buy foods! i went there with joan and hui thong. i went to Edmonds spot to buy his burger which i promise i will buy.
it was yummy!

hui thong bought something shit nice from our tution teacher's class, my tution teacer is kinda killing join from all the question she ask" when do you guys wanna have tution? Tuesday?" my qhole body was so stun, and i was like wot the hell? i told my teacher tat she is so KJ to say those stuffs, but then she said tat the there is no time and the freak strory begins in the end i agree to go for tution on tuesday.

then i saw di jie he ask me to treat him somthing i told him i only have one more coupon left and ask him wot he want. he said tat he want a pack of fries so i pulled out all my coupons and ask the dude in-charge of the stall to collect the amount he need. he said its for two, so yea he took two coupons and di jie gave me a lollipop in return, well tat lollipopo is a sovenier from his society. i made a quick good-bye n left.

later on joan bought some red beans it was kinda tasty i mean i got a sip of it. then i saw qing rui, with his cell, and with a cloth on his head? okey sure.


well i went back and help things in class, and damn! its so shit! i saw the little unmature dude who made spoile dmoi bag! damn oh yea@! i bumped into him in the library too. wot the hell.
anyway he was interviewing our class about some stuffs which i aint interested about. anyway, he made some annoying appearance by the way, but i aint tat angy coz moi day today MADE ME SO SHIT HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!<333333333333

qing rui played those ames i mean the events we had for fun raising with his lad friends, they are preety cool, like wot the hell man, he told his friends i wanna join the ELS learning thing? okey sure like uhuh wot was tat suppose to be?
anyway it was all fun man, they wanted gifts for just 50 points, i mean wtf? ppl play our stuffs like they hit like at least 200 or 250 or 1000 points to get a soft toy and he want it for like 50 points? tats lame. anyway we didnt gave him any shits just some milk candy, he fed me one, its kinda okey well i did tasted it b4 the one he gave. its so milky like my type.

then we played like freaks i got the soft toys coz its too much, i got one "la bi xiao xing" with red shirts and outfit, it is so adorable!<33333333333
then add jade came and she shouted my name i saw her eyes red and i rushed to the window and asked her "wats up?" i knew something was wrong, so i went out the door and comfort her, sigh man. so then i went to the washroom with her,coz shes kinda depressed of her issues. i comforted her i even pulled a chair to let her sit in da washroom' its kinda weird but i just wanted her to feel okey tats all.
so yup she felt better, while i was comforting her damn, my class was so noisy screaming and everything i wish i was there to scream with them. but add jade is omoi freind i have to be for her, when she needs some1 like me. i was so touch when she told me the moment she felt bad.
its okey add jade am here for ya!. then i ate da lollipoo which was given by little bro.

everything was just so okey, i went outside the classroom with her, then i went in the class again hope to help out, but then i saw jing ming who had chicken pox, his fair face was filled with poxes. i ate my lollipop it was lemon favour, and becos of tat i speak so unclear, lmao. some peeps pop out and join in da talk.
it was a blast.
then i took pix with some friends, with rainbow cloud.
it was so cool. then went hope with rainbow cloud.=D

and now i spent like more than half and hour sitting in a black chair facing the computer, typing down my lovely, freak out day!
NEVER KNEW IT WILL TURN OUT SUCH A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!
NEVER KNEW TAT I COULD HAVE SO MUCH FUN EVEN WITH MY CLASSMATES!!!!!!
TAT IS LIKE A MIRACLE I GUESS?
i guess after all, those preps like me, i mean its just me avoiding them, but now i know tat everythings okey. WOWIE! oh yea and they aint preeps they are a bunch of FREAK CLASSMATES!!!!<333333333