Daddy, I really do hope that I am good enough, I really do.

What a hectic day it was. Woke up early for the drawing session with Pinky and of course Math's tuition. The night, was the real drama. Went to this exhibition of a top Uni. I don't feel I was being myself then. I was like trying so hard to fit in, to be the perfect candidate or something, I just wanted my Daddy to be proud of me, I wanted him to say in a proud way to his friend, " That's my girl!" too bad it didn't happen. I guess I have been living in a rather too high expectation family than a normal one. I'm not complaining here, just pouring my thoughts.

" you told me to be myself
and everything will work out
I did my best
I did what you ask for
but I'm sorry
I'm not perfect "

I told Daddy my thoughts in the car after everything. Stupid and naive I was. I knew Daddy must be so pissed of me. He had so many stuffs tangling on, yet he still had to drive me that far for that exhibition. For the shake of my so called FUTURE.

I didn't really want these things. It's way too much for me, way too much. It's freaking me out. I'm sorry. I don't feel comfortable. I don't think I'm ready for these exposed. It's way too determining my situation. Way too much. too classy for some one like me.

"I'm not too sure who I am as an individual
just a searcher
just a finder.
I know I will be fine
just needed more time
to fit in
to adapt to my new routine
face it!
I know I can!"