I never thought that Teachers RIP wall is still full of updates.
It made me cried and realized how weak I am in the inside. I guess, I'm just not over her departure.
He is ill again. Unpredictable. A minute ago, he was still there, helping me, guiding me. The next minute, he is lying there. I will do my part, pray hard and contribute. Ray Ban shades? Makeups, vacation, concerts, everything can wait but life can't.
Live and Pray.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Not proud
I am not proud with who I am. I guess that is the reason why I always need to fake or lie about things. I'm just not so comfortable with my true identity. I need to get over it. I need to.
A break. I need it.
A vacation alone, to find who I am.
A minute alone, to pour my mind out.
A break. I need it.
A vacation alone, to find who I am.
A minute alone, to pour my mind out.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Avril is Avril
" I guess she reminded me of myself. Avril likes to try different things and be different, and that is totally me! I care what people think, I wonder if Avril does too. but I get over it eventually, because I know I'm living my own life and I'm taking my own responsibility. No one should complain when I'm being myself neither should they judge me or even tell me who I am. Afterall, THIS IS MY LIFE. I want to be like her, a person who can scream and say WHAT THE HELL and move on in life. <3 Life is simple, when we see it in the simple way. It's that simple but we tend to complicate it and that's the reason why it's giving us a headache. "
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Hurt
All I care about is, who I am and what is going on in my life just mine.
It is the anniversary of my beloved teacher today, I forgot. All I care about is, what to wear, how to make my life over "complicated" but it turns out to be a sad piece.
I don't know what kind of person I have turned into. I'm so sick for feeling sorry for myself, how could I?
I always choose to focus on the sad part of life. Sad part.
I have a dream to conquer, I have a dream to achieve, I have to make it real.
It's true that I have either created a box for myself to be in or I have jumped out from my box.
Look at how many "I"s are mention in this post. It's always just about me, selfish me.
Teacher,
" I have a dream to achieve in life, a goal that I know I can reach. I will make you proud.
Yes I will. " Looking up at the stars, I know I can see your smile.
It is the anniversary of my beloved teacher today, I forgot. All I care about is, what to wear, how to make my life over "complicated" but it turns out to be a sad piece.
I don't know what kind of person I have turned into. I'm so sick for feeling sorry for myself, how could I?
I always choose to focus on the sad part of life. Sad part.
I have a dream to conquer, I have a dream to achieve, I have to make it real.
It's true that I have either created a box for myself to be in or I have jumped out from my box.
Look at how many "I"s are mention in this post. It's always just about me, selfish me.
Teacher,
" I have a dream to achieve in life, a goal that I know I can reach. I will make you proud.
Yes I will. " Looking up at the stars, I know I can see your smile.
Friday, January 14, 2011
We change, the memories remain
I was clearing up my stuffs.
A lot of sweet notes made me laugh, I guess my high school life was still an unforgettable journey. It's just I would not want to go back nor live in that memories. My future and the present is what I am curious about.
A lot of friendships had just faded away just like that. Even worse, I tend to break some.
Like what I always say I do not have the best but I live to its fullest.
Like in Kindergarden, like in prep school, like in Primary, I have never ever had a friend that has continued until now. The same thing goes with High School. My friend groups has been fickle if I really have to describe it.
I decided to blog about this. As my message is, things are fickle cherish them when they are not.
<3,
Tracey
A lot of sweet notes made me laugh, I guess my high school life was still an unforgettable journey. It's just I would not want to go back nor live in that memories. My future and the present is what I am curious about.
A lot of friendships had just faded away just like that. Even worse, I tend to break some.
Like what I always say I do not have the best but I live to its fullest.
Like in Kindergarden, like in prep school, like in Primary, I have never ever had a friend that has continued until now. The same thing goes with High School. My friend groups has been fickle if I really have to describe it.
I decided to blog about this. As my message is, things are fickle cherish them when they are not.
<3,
Tracey
Monday, January 10, 2011
Not Tame
How I wish I could be like her. Easy to Tame and Easy going. Her parents must have love her so much. Despite the fact they have to spend more on her, every cent must have spent with a smile.
I'm the type who is impossible to tame. I ask for too much in life, everything. It's my fault for a lot of things that had happened. I seek for forgiveness but I don't apologize for my attitude, for who I am.
Can't be Tamed, that's me but not the Miley type.
I hate myself for being this way, I don't like seeing myself hopelessly facing the wall.
It will be over eventually, just needed to let it out. Sometimes feeling sorry for yourself is a way of feeling better. But not for too long.
I'm the type who is impossible to tame. I ask for too much in life, everything. It's my fault for a lot of things that had happened. I seek for forgiveness but I don't apologize for my attitude, for who I am.
Can't be Tamed, that's me but not the Miley type.
I hate myself for being this way, I don't like seeing myself hopelessly facing the wall.
It will be over eventually, just needed to let it out. Sometimes feeling sorry for yourself is a way of feeling better. But not for too long.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
"We tend to forget things", good and bad things
Who's my role model? My inspiration? Someone who believes in me?
Marilyn Monroe, Oprah Winfrey, it comes down to a point that I have figured out that kids are inspirations! They reminded us who we were before and how the wonderworld sounds so beautiful, so real.
The people who truly loved us, who truly believed in us, are people who are beside us. We had forgotten them. We remember the hates and pains but do we remember the love and hope?
My geography teacher, my grandpa, my family, my unsung heroes. I had forgotten the love, the faith they had on me.
I will not let them down. It is hard to find someone who looked up to you, who believed in you. I have found it but I have let it go.
Marilyn Monroe, Oprah Winfrey, it comes down to a point that I have figured out that kids are inspirations! They reminded us who we were before and how the wonderworld sounds so beautiful, so real.
The people who truly loved us, who truly believed in us, are people who are beside us. We had forgotten them. We remember the hates and pains but do we remember the love and hope?
My geography teacher, my grandpa, my family, my unsung heroes. I had forgotten the love, the faith they had on me.
I will not let them down. It is hard to find someone who looked up to you, who believed in you. I have found it but I have let it go.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Lost but Help
Remember the time when I don't want anybody to help me? I thought that I could have really haddle everything on my own. Trying to prove so hard that I'm right and everyone is wrong. Well, It comes clean that I was naive.
"Things don't just happen, they happen for a reason", Yet I thank Mighty God for not letting me face my dear and my future alone as I really needed the guidance. Now that I have made it clear and understood that, sometimes getting help from people doesn't mean that I am weak or I couldn't handle my problems, it's just that some people for example my parents are more senior and much more experienced than me. It is obvious that I was lost but I didn't wanted help. But I thank I wasn't harsh enough to walk away. Think about it, you get help, things work out, you go further towards your goals, you can help more people, inspire more people, see more people, most important you can repay it forward for those who have invested for you. What's wrong with it?
I might be rebellion but I'm not a mistake.
It's true, others might see me as a kid who needs every single help. But I will hang in there because there will be a day that I will say it in front of them:
" True I got help from people but it's because I see what you don't see.
I couldn't handle every single thing on my own, so what's wrong getting help from someone much more senior?
I will go further with this help and I will not let them down.
They invested on me, I will make sure they get back what they had plus interest" .
That's it.
"Things don't just happen, they happen for a reason", Yet I thank Mighty God for not letting me face my dear and my future alone as I really needed the guidance. Now that I have made it clear and understood that, sometimes getting help from people doesn't mean that I am weak or I couldn't handle my problems, it's just that some people for example my parents are more senior and much more experienced than me. It is obvious that I was lost but I didn't wanted help. But I thank I wasn't harsh enough to walk away. Think about it, you get help, things work out, you go further towards your goals, you can help more people, inspire more people, see more people, most important you can repay it forward for those who have invested for you. What's wrong with it?
I might be rebellion but I'm not a mistake.
It's true, others might see me as a kid who needs every single help. But I will hang in there because there will be a day that I will say it in front of them:
" True I got help from people but it's because I see what you don't see.
I couldn't handle every single thing on my own, so what's wrong getting help from someone much more senior?
I will go further with this help and I will not let them down.
They invested on me, I will make sure they get back what they had plus interest" .
That's it.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
CUHK
2011 has stepped in my life. It has been the second day of this journey. Retard, is all I can explain myself. True, that I felt really Happy when I saw the fire works in school in December 31 2010. As I quote " This is the first time I am so close to the fireworks. For the first time I didn't find it irritating I see how beautiful it is. "
A new me, A new start, A brand new journey.
I will do good. I am not afraid for Change.
A new me, A new start, A brand new journey.
I will do good. I am not afraid for Change.